This is the first of two posts with almost the same name. It’s funny that the two subjects I currently need to talk about happened to be homonyms. I was going to put them both together but feel it would be better to separate the posts.
When I first started my travels back in 2017 going into 2018 I wanted to start doing something about my weight but with little control over my diet as I was staying with friends. I did on a pretty regular basis make sure that at least once a week I was at least being active but it was still difficult to manage with my schedule and the inconsistency that comes with life on the road. In late June just after my birthday, I received news that changed the course of that journey. It was a tipping point for me. In July I moved back to North Carolina a place that for the better part of 20 years I have considered the closest thing to a home I have ever had. Coming home to North Carolina was truly an opportunity to start over with nothing. Which is about all I had left. When I left Texas in November 2017 I had sold or gotten rid of almost everything I owned. What I had left fit in my car which is the most expensive thing I own. I have no furniture or anything you need to live on your own for an extended period of time. I have lived a minimalist lifestyle for 9 months almost fully dependent on the generosity of my friends and family to not have to sleep in my car or a tent. I am so thankful for those people! But I digress, so when leaving Texas I found I no longer had an attachment to the things in my life. As I traveled more of those things seemed unimportant and unnecessary so I started getting rid of more. When I arrived here in NC in July I had less than I had when I left TX in November and felt better for having let go of those things. All that being said now I will actually get to the actual subject of this post.
There is a reason I wanted to share the above story because I have found my current journey of weight loss has had a fair amount of parallels. I have for the most part carried a significant amount of weight around with me for most of my life. Coming back to North Carolina and realizing this place holds a lot of very old memories and some of them I have had to face despite not wanting to do so. But when your world literally falls apart around you and you are left with nowhere to hide. I realized that for the better part of my life I have been hiding behind my weight and allowing it to be an excuse for inaction. But in July I was left with nowhere to hide so I started to try and pick up the pieces. After a couple of unsuccessful months, I decided that instead of making excuses it was time to start facing things and making changes. I wish I hadn't taken so long but in September the Lord started talking to me about a lot of things. Also, the weather got really nice and hiking trails doesn't cost anything aside from the effort of getting out of my chair and taking action. By October I was researching and changing what I eat so as to get a healthier balance of food. These are the outside changes and action I was taking. But there was so much more to it than just the physical changes due to my lifestyle changes. As the weight started to come off a couple of things happened. One of which was several other health issues I have had my whole life were suddenly gone and I have felt better in the last few months than I have felt in the better part of my adult years even into my teen years. The second thing that started happening was the core issues that I have been ignoring for years because it was part of the stuff I was hiding under the weight started to surface. In the past, I would have just pushed them back down and ignored those things but this is a season for starting over which meant it was time to face those issues and decided if they were really worth carrying around for the rest of my life. You might guess the answer to that question it was a very loud NO! For too long I have been keeping a storage unit of hurt and pain from my past in my head and my heart while my body has been paying the rental fees for years. So I decided that I needed to do with my head and heart what I did when I left Texas. I have been cleaning house emotionally and spiritually for the last few months along with my activity and all around more balanced diet. Only by takling this weight from both angles will I truly find success. I think had I only done some of the work to lose weight by activity and eating better had I not addressed the core issues I would not be seeing such fast results and it would be a struggle to keep the weight off. Over the holidays I took a break from working out because I wanted to focus on being with family. I also went over on my calories and indulged slightly but even during that I actually still lost that last stubborn pound that after losing it I officially dropped below 200 for the first time in probably 15 years. Below are pictures ranging over the last 15 or more years in mostly chronological order oldest to newest. At my heaviest, I was at 245 in February 2018 and that scared me because I was nearing 250! I started to try and be better about what I was eating then but not as well. When I weighed myself in September I was at 235. As of this morning, I am a pound away from losing 40 lbs in since September.