A Crazy Story with Context and Insight
So first the context… I have recently started dating…. Well, I guess dating is not entirely true yet. I have recently installed a dating app on my phone. That being said I am not trying to tell you some crazy story of how I met the love of my life nor is this a horror story of how badly things are going. I will say that the app I am currently using was not the first one I tried! Some apps are more conducive to hooking up than just dating and getting to know new people. I started with an app that leaned toward the former before finding one that leans closer to the latter. I am currently using one of the apps where you see a few pictures and read a bio and swipe right if you are interested and left if you are not. I will say that I refuse to make a decision based solely on pictures so if you do not have a bio I immediately swipe left. This is where I am finding not only a lot about myself but also about the way that guys in their 30’s are thinking how they either see themselves or what they want in a possible date. At my age, I really am not searching outside of this age range so I have a limited sample group of guys in their 30’s within 40+/- Miles of my present location. This included the occasional passing through guys waiting at the airport. (Side Note: I have had some very pleasant chats with guys just passing through town but if you are just passing through on a layover don’t swipe when you are just passing through and not able to meet, most people on an app like this one are not looking for long distance).
This is where my crazy story comes in… So last night after a date decided not to go to the event he was going to meet me at, I went to grab a bite to eat when I would have been meeting him. While I was at dinner, partly because I was a little mad, I was swiping through my matches. Just after I finish dinner the face of an old friend I know from college pops up on my screen as a potential match for me. As I said this app only searches within a 40-mile radius of me so I almost completely lost it when I saw someone who I have known for like 13 or 14 years and as far as I knew lived on the other side of my country just happened to be basically in my backyard. So I texted him and found out he was in town just for the day and would be flying out the next afternoon. Having not really seen him or talked to him in 4 or 5 years I asked if he was free to meet up for a bit to catch up. So I got to connect with an old friend for a couple of hours because I was on a dating app which was crazy to me. It was fun because we both got to see the other side of the app because I mean why wouldn’t we ask it was good to see him meet some of the nice people he was there with even though I am pretty sure I may never see them again. I had a fun time hanging out, seeing an old friend and just laughing this an old friends and some people I have never met until yesterday.
Now for the insight… This insight is more about my observations since using the app rather than being directly related to my crazy story but since you have read this far you might as well stick around for a few more minutes.
I know it may sound cliche! But Confidence is Key! I really believe that confidence it something that has been lost in so many ways over the years. Now when people meet or see a confident person it is being compared to finding a unicorn! I mean, Do people lack so much confidence that when they see it in someone else they feel they have literally fallen out of the reality we live in today into a world where Unicorns exist and they have just had the joy of meeting one. Wow, that is heartbreaking to me. After 33 years of life, I have struggled on occasion with self-doubt and whether or not I am making the right decision for myself at the time. I know that life has a way of occasionally sucker-punching us in the gut when we are sometimes in the worst way already. But sometimes those are effects of outside force and nothing you did cause it nor was there anything you could have done to change the outcome. All that to say we need to stop beating ourselves up over the things that are not our fault. I have found the above information about a confident girl who knows who she is and what she wants in life is rare. In addition, I have found that guys in their 30’s are also struggling with the same confidence. They try to hide it with self-deprecating humor or they try to convey confidence in having their life together when it comes to having a job and owning a house and/or a car. But at the end of the day, they lack actual confidence. Now I do want to say that I do not nor have I ever seen confidence and ego as the same thing. You can be confident and humble at the same time, that I will say, is a very attractive quality. I know that it is very humbling to have lowered ourselves to literally meet people by swiping on an app but you should never let that define or change who you are as a person. Confidence is more about knowing yourself and being comfortable in who you are without letting the opinions (because that is honestly all they are opinions) of what other people think about you affect you to the point of changing into a person you don’t like or recognize. I know who I am, I love who I am and I refuse to change for anyone. I am CONFIDENT, Beautiful, Smart, and Happy with my life! You should be too. I am using a dating app to meet people and I am happy with that choice. It won’t last forever I will eventually meet someone and delete the app. I may meet them through the app or I will meet them in real life in some bizarre and crazy story that I hope to one day share with friends and family. But for now, I am gonna keep being me and doing life my way!